20th December 2015

132715168Being single for most women especially at 36, when most women think of a husband, home and babies, is a whole lot of moping around and complaining but for me it is living a complete life till the right person comes along.

I broke up almost 5 years ago from a long and steady relationship of 11 years. The relationship had fizzled out and had died a long time back but I still kept lingering onto it for fear of being miserable of dealing with the immense and excruciating pain of losing the most important person in my life.

But once I let go I found the greatest gift of all – Loving myself first. When we love someone, we forget that not only should we always place ourselves first but it is also about being loved back equally. 

Love is eternal, love is meant to make us grow, love is meant to make us safe and secure, love is meant to give us the power to renew us, and most of all love is fidelity. 

Most of us want to ‘get into’ or ‘hang onto’ what we think is love or what gives us immediate comfort because we are scared of facing ourselves alone.

Ever thought how can someone else enjoy our company if we ourselves can’t spend an evening with us alone. Taking a break and being single is a great way to begin the self-healing process. It takes time but I realized that we have to take charge of our lives and most of all get over of being in the constant feeling of being unloved.

Sadly many people enter lifelong relationships where love fades away and it’s nothing but a companionship of conveniences without growing in its inner dimensions. That is something I didn’t want. I want a love that is real, love that is emotionally quenching, love that is  …….. well Love.

And how am I ever going to get all that if I am a walking psychologically disturbed emotional time bomb? I believe that it is unfair to dump our insecurities on an unsuspecting person and then expecting them to quench our love led demands. Ultimately, out of unlimited expectations relationships fall apart and people end up thinking love is a losing game.

It is a difficult but a great feeling by loving yourself, only when you can fill yourself up can you give anyone anything.

God is kind, he will keep sending you love in the form of family, friends, pets, books, work etc. As writer Paulo Coehlo said, “Close the door, change the record, clean the house ………. stop being who you were! Become who you are.”


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